Monday, 14 February 2011

Upgrade Difficulties

Dear Tech Support

Last year i upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flowers and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition Husband uninsulated many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention, and then installed undesirable programs such as, Rugby, Football and Continuous TV.  Conversation no longer runs, and Housekeeping simply crashes the system.  I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can i do?

Signed Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind that Boyfirend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System.  Please enter the command 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt Update.  If that application works as desired, Husband should automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer.  Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, do not install MOTHER-IN-LAW (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.  Also do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend program, these are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory, and cannot learn new applications quickly.  It also tends to run better running one task at a time.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.  We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck

Tech Support

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Normal stitching chat will resume later in the week when i have progress, a new start and a lovely received gift to share.
Until then, i hope the "Upgrade Difficulties" made you chuckle :-)
(It made my day when i received it in an email at work this morning :-))

16 comments:

Lee said...

Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful! I'd like to send this along as an email to some friends. Would you mind, if I attribute it to you?

Julie said...

Maggie, that is priceless, loved it!

Elaine said...

ROFL!!! Thanks for sharing Maggie.

Carolien said...

Yes indeed! Keep up the good work :)

Bye, Carolien

Chocolates4Breakfast (TerriBoog) said...

ROFLMAO!! Love it, Maggie. Happy Valentine's Day!

stitcheranon said...

Love it....made me smile on quite a sad day ;-)

Mouse said...

heheheheh ... I love it might have to borrow that sometime ..lol thanks for the giggle love mouse xxxx

Kathy A. said...

Rolling on the floor - howling in laughter.
Priceless - thanks for the laugh!

mbroider said...

Thanks for sharing this! It is so laugh-out-loud!!

mollycaff said...

Thanks for that Maggie, gave all the girls in the office a giggle this morning LOL

gracie said...

I think we can at times all relate...thank you for sharing it...it ceratinly did have me laughing....

Ginnie said...

Love it ! Thanks for making me smile !

Heidi said...

Too cute!

And I see you are stitching Molly...sigh...jealous sigh...
:-) I might sneak into your house and steal it for my cat sampler wall. Oops! Guess I should not have told you that since you will know where to come to retrieve it...lol.

Hugs from Holland ~
Heidi

Katherine said...

OMG! This was exactly what I needed! I've spent the afternoon dealing - unhappily - with teenage son and husband operating systems! I so needed the hysterical laughter add-on that you just gave me! Thanks Maggie.

Roberta said...

This is good!!!! and oh so true!!

Rhona said...

That was soooo funny! Thanks for making my day (doesn't take much to amuse me!!)