It's almost 5am on a Sunday morning, I decided to get up instead of keep tossing and turning, first I'm hot then I'm cold, can't get comfortable, these hormones have a lot to answer for.
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We started to hang the wallpaper in our bedroom yesterday, it was late afternoon we were both tired so we ended up having a few choice words to say to each other about how things should be done. I hate all the mess that decorating brings with it, Mark hates decorating, things were bound to get fraught. In the end we found a system that worked, me finding the match on the paper and cutting, him pasting and hanging, it worked, we managed a whole wall before we called it a day at around 8.30pm.
I admit I'm finding it hard adjusting to living here, I love the area, I like the garden, but the rest of it is taking some getting used to. Ok, number one thing, (these are probably going to sound like silly things to some people, to me they're not, we all have our niggles of what and how we like things).
I miss the kitchen in my old house, and my cooker, I really miss my cooker. That might sound silly but I spent a year thinking and planning that kitchen and it worked, all of it, it was easy to work in. This one, nothing makes sense, no thought has gone into where things are, and the cooker, well less said about the the better. I cook in batches when I can and freeze, that way I'm spending less time with it.
No dishwasher...I didn't think this would bother me too much, after all most of the week there is just me and just the two of us at weekends, but it does, It's not the washing up, it's the stuff on the draining board after and the stainless steel sink taking up too much space and being being wet, I hate it, I'm forever cleaning it.
No built in microwave...Free standing one on the worktop, taking up space, enough said.
Fridge...In the wrong place, or perhaps the fridge is in the right place and the kettle is in the wrong place, but the kettle can't go by the sink and above the fridge because there is no plug socket there.
The door...Really, really awkward, when it's open it takes up a lot of space.
The cat's litter tray has to be in the kitchen too, no where else for it to go, not ideal but nothing else for it at the moment, the washing machine, again has to be in the kitchen glaring at me from under the worktop, (I don't like appliances on show). I know these things can be changed, and they will, eventually. I'm just feeling so overwhelmed with all the things that have to be done, It's not just the kitchen, there are other rooms I'm not happy with, and when it's all done will I be satisfied, or will I still not feel settled here.
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I think we did the right thing in moving, it's just taking time to get used to less space and getting things how we want them. Maybe it's more to do with me and how I'm feeling than the house, I went to the local shopping centre yesterday, I only had to go to one store but had to walk through a large part of the mall to get to it. It was a Saturday so there were lots of people and I was so irritated with all these people just ambling along, and the noise, I started to panic a bit, I just wanted to get to the store, get what I wanted and get out of there and back home, I'd no patience for people strolling with nothing better to do than wander aimlessly round a shopping centre. I do feel like that quite a bit lately, I want to shut myself away, not bother with anyone, haven't got the patience with people.
I'm not depressed, just overwhelmed and irritated, very easily irritated sometimes, that's the only way I can describe it.
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Day two of paperhanging will be happening today, lets hope we can get through it without swearing and any mishaps.
If you've read my ramblings, thank you, and If you made it this far, a BIG thank you. I am turning off the comments though, this is not an 'Oh woe is me please feel sorry for me post' I wanted to get some things out, and now they are, I might feel better for it, or I might feel just as frustrated tomorrow, who knows, either way I'll get on with it, I always do.
-X-
