Upgrade Difficulties

Dear Tech Support

Last year i upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the Flowers and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition Husband uninsulated many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention, and then installed undesirable programs such as, Rugby, Football and Continuous TV.  Conversation no longer runs, and Housekeeping simply crashes the system.  I've tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can i do?

Signed Desperate

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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind that Boyfirend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System.  Please enter the command 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.

Don't forget to install the Guilt Update.  If that application works as desired, Husband should automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer.  Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, do not install MOTHER-IN-LAW (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.  Also do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend program, these are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory, and cannot learn new applications quickly.  It also tends to run better running one task at a time.  You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.  We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck

Tech Support

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Normal stitching chat will resume later in the week when i have progress, a new start and a lovely received gift to share.

Until then, i hope the "Upgrade Difficulties" made you chuckle :-)
(It made my day when i received it in an email at work this morning :-))